LIVIN' PROOF

DJ TREATS HAS MOVED

2009-09-13T12:21:00.001-04:00

Here's where the action is. DJTREATS.COM

DJ TREATS LIVE ON THE PACEMAKER

2008-06-22T13:46:00.000-04:00

NINA SKY BRINGS DJ TREATS GOOD LUCK

2008-04-16T19:52:00.004-04:00

The third week of Nouveau Riche Tuesdays at Retreat was the biggest night to date. Nicole from Nina Sky and Joe Budden were on-hand for the festivities. I took a backseat to Nicole's reggae set though. She taught me a thing or two when it came to her one-drop riddim set. Lighters up for Nicole for rocking the party.

DJ TREATS PLAYS AT KUSH

2008-03-25T21:45:00.002-04:00

Damn, it's been a long time since I put something here.

LIGHTS OUT

2008-01-21T03:32:00.001-05:00

Photo by James Dimmoc

I promise I'll stop playing this song, at the end of the year.
Kanye West feat. Dwele, R. Kelly - Flashing Lights Remix (tagged webrip)

FOR THE LOVE

2008-01-18T22:35:00.000-05:00

DJ Premier and Q-Tip enjoy spinning at Love more than I clearly like using photoshop. I wasted so much time on this, and it still looks like crap. Check out Tip's monthly party.

FASHIONY

2008-01-18T12:52:00.000-05:00

You mad cuz I'm stylin' on you.

RICH AND BRAD

2008-01-16T17:21:00.001-05:00

Last of a dying breed (with all due respect to Bun B of course). R.I.P. Pimp C

D.I.Y.

2008-01-11T15:38:00.000-05:00

A sign of what things may come.

SUPERBAD

2008-01-11T12:31:00.000-05:00

This is like cereal in the morning for me.

What Da Deal Boo - Shawty Redd feat. Daz, Big Kuntry

REVOLUTION

2008-01-10T12:24:00.001-05:00

I've officially given up on Apple's mp3 players. My iPod Nano works great, but let's face it, it's not for dj's. Numark tried to bring the best of both worlds together, digital and analog when they built a mixer for overnight dj's to seamlessly transition from track to track, but it's shelf life ran shorter than a pair of Apple's flimsy ear buds. The brains at Numark could have at least made it so you can use one ipod instead of two, then expand the functionality to looping, and filtering effects on songs. Anything that innovative would be way too complicated for anyone too lazy to invest time, and effort into actually becoming a real DJ. Enter the Pacemaker. The Swedish export combines 120 GB (think iPod), into a two channel mixer, with all the bells and whistles to take your ears to a proper rave in Ibiza.

I cosigned this new device the minute I heard about it. Even Chad and Pharrell know what's up. For weeks, I hounded the tech guys to test it out until they made their way to Complex to give me a hands on demo. Dude came through with a portable JBL speaker system, a headphone to RCA wire, and within seconds, I was transported back to my summer in Barcelona. I saw the second coming of deejaying, all without the help of hallucinogens. The Pacemaker does everything iPods can't—pitch, bend, cue, loop, filter, and above all, crossfade. Despite the $600+ price tag, it's a pretty good investment for anyone, amateurs or pros. But wait, there's more. You have the choice to save your mixes for publishing in their online community—bye MySpace, bye bye Nano.

GET LIFTED

2008-01-09T15:54:00.000-05:00

Look for B.o.B in the new L-r-g ads like this one in Times Square. Haters everywhere, look away.

THE RETURN OF 31 FLAVORS

2008-01-07T11:06:00.000-05:00

I AIN'T NO JOKE

2007-12-28T16:18:00.000-05:00

Heath Ledger did not take this photo.

My nerd rating jumped up 50 points when I bought the original print of "The Killing Joke." I just couldn't help myself, even after reading it reprinted in the best of Alan Moore series. I just craved the embossed cover—that genuine authenticity that made the 1988 classic. All that went out the window though as soon as I forked over my beer money for the week. Watching the the 6 minute scene from "The Dark Knight" in IMAX the next day made it all worth it. So technically, my nerd rating went up 66 points, $50 for the comic + 16 for the flick = one big smile.

BACK ROOM TUESDAYS

2007-12-26T00:17:00.000-05:00

The back is so good, you can see it from the front.
Special DJ Treats set coming soon. Holla at me Paige.

PRE-NYE

2007-12-25T22:56:00.001-05:00

THURSDAYS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

STARTING DECEMBER 27TH, 2007.

10PM
NO COVER

DO YOU NEED ANOTHER REASON?

XXX-MAS

2007-12-25T10:10:00.000-05:00

Photo by DJ Treats
All I want for X-Mas is hentai! Haha. I've um, glanced at anime pornography a handful of times, heh, but never realized the market for it amongst fanboys internationally. This slice of the hentai booth at this year's New York Anime Festival generated the biggest crowd, next to the line-dancing for a dance-dance revolution type instructional video (not game, video).

This was my only chance to get rare Transformers from the original Takara brand that made them. You see that $199 pricetag on Megatron, too rich for my blood. I should have paid the price and get the limited edition figure. See, the toys made now in this post-Hasbro-Michael-Bay-era, are more alien, and less robotic which is cool, not hating at all. But these imports at the Anime Festival were bigger, and better than what I came to know growing up in the '80s. Until my trip to Japan.

GRAMMY'S SHAMMYS

2007-12-21T12:53:00.000-05:00

Skeptic

BRUSH YOUR SHOULDERS OFF...SURRRIOUSLY

2007-12-12T18:44:00.000-05:00

[DISCLAIMER: In hopes of editing in iMovie, I filmed this vertically on a point and shoot digital camera. I don't have iMovie anymore. 45 seconds of watching a video with your head tilted won't kill you. In fact, you'll thank me in the end.]

Jim Jones came by Complex for a photoshoot yesterday. I must say, the girl perched on Capo's shoulders almost tops the one on his back in the "We Fly High" video. The Jim Jones workout plan coming soon.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Brand new Jim Jones material was played, but I don't know what it's from. Could be another mixtape in the works, or cuts from the new album. All I can say is, about three tracks in a row were all synth heavy, as is most rap today. There was a guest spot from some dude that sounded like Jay-Z. I'm assuming it's that dude NOE. You be the judge.]

MASHED UP

2007-12-12T15:16:00.000-05:00

Mashed Up

SAD

2007-12-11T19:02:00.000-05:00

Nothing ever seems to go right whenever I go to Williamsburg. Yet I continue to believe that one day this lame excuse for a section of Brooklyn will produce a reason for it's pointless existence. Two weeks ago I tried to see a conceptual performance by Aaron Rose and the Sads. About 50-something people sacrificed freezing their nosehairs to catch a glimpse of the San Franscisco band do something besides strum the songs from their MySpace page. Instead, over 40 people crammed into the tiny studio space to listen to them play songs through a limited amount of headphones accompanied by a movie projection. Julie and I must have been the 41st and 42nd without an outlet to hear what was going on. This was the one time sharing a set of earbuds with someone would have seemed reasonable and not cheap. But the headphone nazis weren't having it. Instead, the bar around the corner had an earful of mildly-tolerable obscure rock music, and plenty of cloudy glasses for everyone to drink from. About 20 minutes later, I was told, the Sads were deep, and moving, not more than what I expected from a band high off of trying to keep up with Stanley Kubrick. I hardly think so since exiting stage left, all I could hear were foul sentiments from my inner monologue stemmed from Williamsburg hatred. Oh, if you're that curious, I suggest earmuffs for the squeamish.

DAILY OPERATION

2007-11-27T14:28:00.001-05:00

The game is to be told.

LIL' MAMA VS. RYE RYE

2007-11-27T04:18:00.000-05:00

I have no beef in the blogosphere, just opinions.

SIDE TO SIDE

2007-11-21T19:44:00.000-05:00

I was wrong. A few weeks back I criticized record labels for not pressing up vinyl anymore for core fans and DJ's. As empty as I feel with every new album I download, I can't fully blame the powers that be for not pandering to DJ's like me by giving us quality product. Musicians are in part to blame. Hate it or love it, it's the truth.

I'm a Soulja Boy fan...yahhh bitch. But really and truely, would YOU rush to buy a Soulja Boy 12" in Fat Beats (even if they dared carry it)? I repeat, "rush." Records like "Crank Dat" would be in such high quantity that you could buy them at any commercial retailer from Tower Records to Virgin Megastore.

Try to find a 12" record with a remix by an equally talented producer on the B-side today. The 12" version of "The World Is Yours" by Nas produced by Pete Rock, also featured the remix by Q-Tip. Remember Tip's playful "la la la la" melody. Rap nerds ate it up! Aside from a quick 8-12 bars by the producer, remixes didn't veer too far musically from the original, no matter how nice they were on the mic. The strategy of getting kids to buy a vinyl single worked. In return, they got a rare treat to play on pops' turntable as a bonus. In 1993, Ruff Ryder hitman Dame Grease was was shown up on a remix of "If You Think I'm Jiggy" by two kids from Virginia—the Neptunes on the 12" of "Money, Power & Respect." As for the friendly competition between said producers, that's another story.

White-label vinyl counted too. The unofficial singles released by independent distributors would sometimes throw random remixes by B and C-list producers. But as unofficial as they were, they were unsanctioned by record companies, thus their following was extremely niche only between DJ's. While the life of a white-label single struggles for survival, as do mom and pop record shops, so does the deadly combination of a remix on par with the original. Re-invent the remix, properly.

STOP ME IF YOU THINK YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

2007-11-15T18:12:00.000-05:00

Radiohead doesn't cover a lot of classic material, at least not officially on record, neither does Morrissey. I found their cover of "Headmaster Ritual" today poking around JP's blog (I'm still foreign to RSS). Of all the bands to cover a Smiths record, it's fitting that Thom Yorke would bring new life to Morrissey's melodic banter like a possesed madman. Then again, I do the same everytime I deejay.

As non-chalant as Morrissey is on his banter towards the end of of the original, you gotta love how Yorke gives it his all, until he peeks out the corner of his eye around 4:48 to see if the rest of the band is still playing with him. If this was in one take, they got it, and killed it.

GET YOUR WEIGHT UP

2007-11-12T11:31:00.001-05:00

Believe or not, ladies like to kiss and tell too. Some good friends of mine recently launched a blog where they take submissions from females of their exploits with men. For those that lay the pipe well need not worry. For others, get your weight up, seriously. It's not as bad as you think though. The sidebar of Weight of the Week spares some dudes the embarrassment. Whew!

REVOLUTIONS

2007-11-01T15:46:00.000-04:00

Image courtesy of Rosstheboss.wordpress.com. I'm at work and needed a photo of an impressive vinyl collection other than my own.

Aside from seeing Morrissey last Sunday (more on that later), I was inspired to act like a writer after reading my man Gooch's SCRATCH blog recently. As much as I love downloading leaked music off the Internet, I can't help but miss the days when these same leaked songs would appear as B-sides on vinyl. Now with so much music being leaked daily, often from the cutting floor of an album, music like this could have a physical place on vinyl, and not on a dead Zshare link. If only the record companies could figure it out.

Sure it would cost money to press up singles again with said B-sides, but if you make it, they will come. Just peep how many people download those leaked songs. Good or bad, that's wasted money! Maybe artists don't care, that's why the songs are leaked in the first place. But if the record companies did like Gooch said, and gave out mp3 versons with 12", you'd make everyone (overnight Serato deejays, collectors, artists, music retailers...Tower Records R.I.P, nerds) happy. But they're not in the business of making people happy, at leat not anymore.

CHOICE OF A NEW GENERATION

2007-09-14T17:30:00.000-04:00

I'll drink Coca-Cola when they cut me a check. Click here.

IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM...

2007-09-04T19:08:00.000-04:00

Photo by James Dimmock

It's 2007, and rap beats are far from what they used to be. Jazzy hi-hats, and hollow bass drums peace out dun. Right now, synths are to rap like what finger snaps were to the South a couple of years ago. Kanye West didn't just haphazardly throw synths around on Graduation. His mini-meltdown at last year's MTV European Video Awards was really a sign of the times. The infallible Mr. West who lost to Justice, an electronica group, smartened up this time on the standout track, "Flash Lights."

Since my summer vacation in Spain, I've been spending my days and nights moonlighting as an electronica DJ at Complex HQ. I'd really like to know what deejays Kanye had a chance to experience while recording Graduation. Yes, I did say experience. Try and get that in NYC's Meatpacking District. You just can't deny the presence of European dance music. Save the fag remarks for your mom ok. Try partying 'til 7AM at a sold out arena moving to the sound of Dave Clarke while strobe lights burn out your dilated pupils. Nowhere in New York...maybe at Club Pacha...once in a blue.

For most rap fans still hungover from being force-fed Kanye's album last week at his listening session, the biggest surprise was the light show that accompanied West's rejuvenated sound. Spotlights, strobelights, projections, smoke and nothing short of an incandescent bulb moved in synch with every heart-pounding drum. Until that moment, I thought the closest thing to raves and rap was the opening scene in Belly where blacklights made the white contacts in Nas' eyes light up like an LCD screen. That said, if and when Kanye does a video for "Flash Lights" he shouldn't be worried about outselling 50 Cent, but rather any scrawny white dude with a Moby obsession.

THE NOTORIOUS W.I.G.

2007-08-26T18:26:00.000-04:00

Braids, waves, cornrows, and weaves, I will eliminate after a night at NOVO. Oh, you ain't heard? Saturday's ain't been the same since I've been deejaying at the downtown hot-spot. If you're gonna sweat it out this summer, let it be here, and not on a transplanted park bench in the Lower East Side.

HI-DEF

2007-08-23T00:47:00.000-04:00

Of all the mixtapes that I would listen to from beginning to end, it would be from the one and only, DJ Dreamer. Damn, I think one of our old collabs is in that pile, somewhere.

FAN-TASTIC

2007-08-22T22:28:00.000-04:00

Pick up Comic Foundry NOW at your local comic shop! Even if you've seen every movie adaptation of a comic, been pissed off because the writers/directors got it all wrong (~~Spiderman 3~~), but haven't read one in over eight years, you won't feel like you've missed a step. Or maybe I'm just speaking for myself, since I've already re-started my collection.

FLY BOY

2007-08-21T20:57:00.000-04:00

“I don't land at a airport, I call it the clearport”

I never really understood what Jay-Z was aiming at in this lyric from “Excuse Me Miss.” Then, in a matter of seconds, I stepped onto a G4 private jet in Denver, CO last night, and there wasn’t another airplane in sight, and probably wouldn’t be, that is unless Allen Iverson decided to make an impromptu visit to Philly for a cheese steak. My trip to Idaho was beyond rocky. Try spending over twelve hours in LaGuardia airport waiting on a flight, only to wait a half hour more for the runway of about twenty-something planes to take off. All this for a day of water rafting. For my hosts, Scion and Beyond Marketing Group to shell out a few thousand dollars ($5,000 per hour + fuel for a 1 hour 40 minute round trip…do the math) to get me, and my ten colleagues to Boise, Idaho STAT, that’s the least they could do, right? Well, a little bit of Hov’s choice of bubbly would have topped it off, but beer had to suffice. At least I can see clearly now. Holla!

Oh, and the water is "bottled exclusively for their customers." Take that Fiji.

DUE SEASON

2007-08-21T17:47:00.000-04:00

I've gone a little overboard with the video posts lately, so I figured I just link to MTV Overdrive, and give them the much needed traffic they deserve...(crickets). Sooo, the curly-haired dude pictured above is one of the homies from high school, and one seventh of the Dap-Kings, and the El Michels Affair, also known for backing up live shows for Raekwon, Ghostface, Amy Winehouse, the legendary Sharon Jones.

Get familiar with them because Homer, and long-time friend Leon (not pictured) are finally blowing up like I thought they would. Damn, it feels like just yesterday when these guys changed the musical landscape of our high school jazz band with their affinity for '70s funk. Fast forward seven years, their work with the Dap Kings and El Michels Affair has sold well independently, mostly through 7-inch releases on Daptone records to earn the attention of DJ/Producer Mark Ronson for Winehouse's Back To Black.

Don't get me wrong, I dig what Ronson is doing with Amy Winehouse and all, but rap cats like the RZA dusted off their fair share of 45's to gain the depth of post-60's soul/funk too. Remember Isaac Hayes' cameo on The W? Better yet, we can take it back to when RZA sampled The Charmels for "C.R.E.A.M." Like RZA in his heyday, the Dap-Kings don't go overlooked by the pioneers they're influenced by, like Sharon Jones, thankfully. Then again it could be worse. They could be like most of the fake 80's babies parading in Cazals and shell-toes half-stepping as Big Daddy Kane—most are young and black, but far from gifted.

THESE LITTLE PIGGIES

2007-08-17T16:20:00.000-04:00

Juke rap is sweeping Chicago right now. So are these animated parody videos of songs like Soulja Boy's "Crank Dat," and this one from Dude N'em. This song can't hold a candle to "Crank Dat," but you gotta give it up to Voltron doing the robot around 1:12.

Twista got in on the fun for a little jukin' of his own on "Pimp Like Me."

Listen/Download

CASSIE HEARTS COMPLEX (NOT ME)

2007-08-10T18:35:00.000-04:00

August/September issue on newsstands now!

A Field Guide to Spanish Women (Not from the Bronx)

2007-07-09T14:09:00.000-04:00

Photography by DJ treats and Steven Weiss

Living in New York, I thought I’d never visit the homeland of any Spanish-speaking woman. Why go to Puerto Rico when I can hop a train to the Lower East Side? Dominican Republic? No thanks. Washington Heights in Manhattan has all the Dominicans I need. Ah Latinas, I’ve dated many, and undressed a bunch with my eyes. I mean, really, who with New York’s selection at their fingertips would even think of breaking the bank to see more anywhere else? I now stand before you, a new man.

I tried flying south to Miami for a taste of the imported Cuban flavor. Sadly, the only ladies that put out were tourists. I need authenticity dammit! And I got (almost) just that in Spain. Yes, Spain my dudes. Far, but as close to good as it gets.

Calling Spaniards simply white girls with bigger butts is an understatement, aside from an insult, depending on the person.

I personally consider them a little more polished than your average American WGs, which are all good in my book. But I digress. From the moment I stepped off the plane, I was blindsided by everything of all ages. I’m not ashamed to say it either. 16 year-olds looked 32, and 40 year-old cougars looked 20. But guess who was on the prowl.

Yours truely journeyed to the home of Christopher Columbus, damn near fluent enough to negotiate the price of controlled substances, and humbly charmed some of Madrid’s finest into posing for Complex a la Street Detail. In the two weeks I spent traveling Spain, ogling country sides, and three-dimensional backsides, I luckily never landed myself in jail, nor impregnated anyone. That said, enjoy the souvenir.

Maria
Location: New York (orig. Spain)
Favorite brands: Zara, Forever 21, Diesel

Isabel
Profession: Media, communications
Favorite brands: Davidelfin, H&M

Dania
This is just an average day for her.

At this point I was too drunk to even remember names, much less my own.

See previous caption, again. However I do remember that this neighborhood, called Chueca is predominantly gay but has some of the prettiest girls in Madrid. Seriously, girls (no Adam's apple).

(l to r)
Erica, Isabel
Architype hipsters, just a little physiologically enhanced, I think (on the left). Not like anyone's complaining.
Favorite brand: Nou

She claims to be an actress. Need I ask what level of work?

It would just be wrong for me not to bookend this properly.

HAVE A NICE DAY

2007-07-02T16:15:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, I induldged in all that Spain had to offer. In retrospect, my appreciation for their electronica scene grew 10-fold. Which brings me to resurrect this live set I did for a college radio party during my senior year. Download now.

GANG BANG

2007-06-30T15:35:00.000-04:00

Get ready for July 4th with a real bang.

WORD

2007-06-17T19:49:00.000-04:00

Greetings,
In the mere five days I´ve spent in Spain, I have experienced what words can barely describe, and what pictures can hardly capture. See you soon.

YA HEARD

2007-06-13T16:32:00.000-04:00

Photo by DJ treats

What can I say about this guy that he hasn't said about himself already? Sue me, I needed to post something.

PREVIEW: THEY KEN DO IT

2007-06-08T19:57:00.000-04:00

What happened to the Neptunes? Their consecutive reign over top 40 radio has been so sparse since 2004 that the infectious Baby and Clipse production, "What Happened To That Boy" hit pretty damn close to home. But even on their bad days, the Virginia Boys, Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo can still run circles the size of Uranus around today's fleeting producers. Their latest Star Trak project comes from their high-school friend, Kenna. No Clipse collabs here. Kenna's second effort "Make Sure They See My Face," is tried and true to Chad's obsession with New Wave peppered by a Pharrell-esque ad-libs on "Say Goodbye To Love." Your man even has best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell, of "Blink" and "The Tipping Point" checking in for an interlude. Hate them or love them, the 'tunes are masters of their domain when they flip gems of yesteryear like Michael Jackson's "I Can't Help It" which clearly inspired "Frontin'", and U2's "War" for Kenna's "Out Of Control (State Of Emotion)." I guess Chad and Pharrell were right when they exclaimed, "No one really dies."

LA VIDA LOCA

2007-06-06T12:04:00.000-04:00

La proxima semana, voy a Madrid para SONAR. Necesito que practicar mi espanol, para comprar drugos y para negociar con la policia.

PREVIEW: TAKIN' PICTURES

2007-06-06T09:34:00.000-04:00

Photo by DJ treats

Last March I interviewed DJ Drama for the June/July issue of Complex, and got an exclusive preview of what promises to be the greatest mixtape album, ever. Yes, I said it, ever (sorry DJ Khaled). Sure Khaled has the upper hand with a hard release date of June 12 (Complex officially hits newsstands), and the classic posse cut "We Takin' Over" dominating rap radio, but Drama's "Gangsta Grillz" album (still working title) is a wishlist of all your favorite Gangsta Grillz mixtapes rolled into one. Think Lil Wayne's "Dedication" and "Dedication II" meets Pharrell's "In My Mind: The Prequel" and Yo Gotti's "I Told You So" tape. Plus, I can tolerate Drama's ad-libs way more than the omnipresent Khaled shouting out "Listennn."

Crown Jewels: "Da Art of Story Tellin' Pt. 4," feat. Outkast and Marsha Ambrosius, "Cheers" feat. Pharrell and Clipse, "Million Dollar Baby" feat. Lil Wayne, "No Rules" feat. Cassidy and Beanie Sigel, "Throw Your Sets Up" feat. Wille Da Kid, Young Joc, and Jadakiss, and "187" feat. Project Pat, 8Ball & MJG, and Paul Wall

CAN'T SPELL "CLEAVAGE" WITHOUT E-V-E

2007-06-05T18:29:00.000-04:00

To be brutally honest, I'm really glad Eve is finally dropping her new album, Here I Am. I mean, after spending my senior year of college laughing my ass off to her cancelled UPN sitcom, Eve, and seeing her grace the silver screen in classics like Barbershop, Barbershop 2, and The Cookout, damn, I couldn't wait for the self-proclaimed "illest pitbull in a skirt" to step back up to the mic. Whew! Despite being dropped by Aftermath, Swizz Beatz wouldn't dare let Eve suffer the same downfall as Rakim. You gotta love how predictable she's looking in her video for "Tambourine." She cleaned up real nice donning a blonde mop, juicing up the chapped lips, and flashing the dog paws on her chest (still in progress). Ooh wee! She make a n*gga wanna get a job. I thought going from the first lady of Ruff Ryders to rap's new Barbie doll might yield breast implants, collagen lips, and maybe a tuck of some sort. I can only hope the next joy ride in her new Maserati will have Paris Hilton in the driver's seat, and Kim Kardashian in the back, schooling homegirl on how to Evolve.

VIDEO: SHEEP IN WOLF'S CLOTHING

2007-06-01T14:34:00.000-04:00

Sony is looking to replicate Lupe Fiasco's "success" with Yelawolf. Yela's raps are as serious as his a-alike, "Weird Al" Yankovic.

DAILY OPERATION

2007-05-24T17:57:00.000-04:00

Interview with Ca$his.

VIDEO: SINNER MAN

2007-05-24T17:11:00.000-04:00

The latest from Timbaland and the Hives. Back to the era of jacking movies for music video treatments.

SHAMELESS PLUG

2007-05-24T12:56:00.000-04:00

Can't teach an old dog new tricks.

PREVIEW: KINGDOM COME

2007-05-24T12:41:00.000-04:00

"Men lie, women lie, numbers don't." Jay-Z will eat his words when R.Kelly's new album, Double Up drops. Who would have thought after their controversy during the Best Of Both Worlds re-up would have resulted in Kells coming out on top? First Jim Jones, now the Pied Piper continues the stealing of Hova's shine. Kingdom done.

PREVIEW: IT WAS HIM...SNITCHES

2007-05-23T17:12:00.001-04:00

Shaggy's dropping an album this summer on VP Records. Word 'pon the streets, the album is a throwback to his dancehall roots—pre pop crossover, "Angel." Even original don dada, Ninjaman cosigns Mr. Boombastic with a cameo in the video for "Heathen."

MOZ AT MSG

2007-05-21T17:35:00.000-04:00

Morrissey is performing at MSG on June 30th. At the risk of sounding homophobic, I rather not describe what the scene will be like (not that there's anything wrong with that). But don't get it twisted, models dig Moz, and I dig models (female).

DIP IT LOW

2007-05-21T11:15:00.000-04:00

What happened to Jha'Jha? Or is Camilla the first "official" lady of Dipset? At the same time, I'm weary of anything the Dips do with the Brits.

CHASING WATERFALLS

2007-05-21T10:36:00.000-04:00

The late Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes from TLC fame would have turned 36 this Sunday, May 27th. No more post-homuous TLC albums in sight (thankfully), except for Chilli's forthcoming solo debut, Point Of View on Akon's Konvict Music label. Check out the faux-Ciara x Fergie single, "Glidin'" produced by Polow da Don.

SHAMELESS PLUG

2007-05-18T15:21:00.000-04:00

Should be a good time with your friendly neighborhood DJ, treats.

BOBBY BROWN KNUCKLES UP...ALMOST

2007-05-18T12:30:00.000-04:00

I was hoping Bob would have cracked this guy's jaw worse than his own twisted looking mug.

BONE THUGGIN'

2007-05-17T14:56:00.000-04:00

Photo by DJ Treats

For rappers, numbers can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. Their careers depend on sales. Or do they? Cleveland rap poster boys, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony have luck on their side, 13 years worth. Their 7th studio album, Strength & Loyalty executive produced by Swizz Beatz, dropped on May 8th and entered in at number 2 on Billboard's top 200 this week. Is Jim Carry up on this? Ironically, on May 1st, Bone opened their performance along with hypeman Swizzy, with the classic, “First Of The Month” at NYC's Crash Mansion. The stars don’t align for the legendary Bone, they in fact cross roads.

FOR YOUR FACE

2007-05-17T14:26:00.000-04:00

I'm tired of DJ Khaled's now ubiquitous catch phrases, "listennn" and "we the best." I'd much prefer (b)ass. Khaled's fellow spin doctor, DJ Craze satisfies by digging up some bass classics on his Bass Session mixtape.

VIDEO: PUMP IT UP

2007-05-17T11:52:00.000-04:00

I'm glad I didn't believe the hype behind the remix to "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse featuring Jay-Z. Hov sticks to the script of personal addiction, but drops more names than xtacy pills on this snoozer. Instead, chew on this Winehouse classic, "Fuck Me Pumps" from her first album Frank.

RING THE ALARM

2007-05-09T11:02:00.000-04:00

Dizzee Rascal's sophomore album, Showtime caught me off guard two years after I was still bumping his classic debut, Boy In Da Corner. I liked it, though a mediocre follow-up wasn't what I epxected from grime's poster boy. This June, I'm ready for Maths & English, Dizze's strongest effort on XL Recordings to date. I heard the album yesterday, which boasts guest appearances from UGK and Lily Allen—the album's understatements given the improved production, layered with drum and bass on "Da Feelin'," plus a nod to Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock's "It Takes Two" on "Pussy'ole" and grungy rock and roll like the first single, "Sirens." Watch the video and learn, Maths & English.

THINGS FALL APART

2007-04-30T12:33:00.001-04:00

In the illustrious words of ?uestlove's Def Jam boss Jay-Z, "Can I live?"

AMERICAN WOMAN

2007-04-30T12:15:00.000-04:00

Last night's episode of American Dad spread love to ho's. So should you.

GEEK WEEK

2007-04-28T22:55:00.000-04:00

Of the many pointless events New York hosts, Spider-Man week is going to be, for lack of a better word, well, amazing. No really, it is. I'm not even considering finally getting over the three year hump waiting for Spider-Man 3's release this Friday, May 4th. Shit, if I have my way tonight, my trek all the way to Long Island City, Queens (no man's land for this Brooklynite), will be worth it to catch the premiere. If getting beat in the head for 10 bucks on average for a movie sucked, this special screening is running $20. This start to Spider Man week is shooting cobwebs into my pockets already. But I'm sure it's worth it. Three years in the making is a long time. Plus, Spidey, being one of the many heroes of the Big Apple like, Wesley Autrey, deserves their own unofficial holiday. Instead, our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man gets a week. Can you hear my inner fanboy? Though I've lost most of my memories of Cyclops and Wolverine rivalries along with my obsession for Youngblood and WildC.A.T.s: Covert Action Teams around the time I discovered alcohol, and acquired the taste of the opposite sex, getting caught up in the hype for another Marvel classic will take me back to those tender, pre-cherry popped years. In the meantime, I'll try to keep my camera limited to shots of Spidey memoribilia and keep from random up-skirt shots . But, promises are meant to be broken. With such power comes great responsiblity. Muhahahahaaaaaa....haha....ha....ahhhh....whooo!

TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS

2007-04-18T03:32:00.000-04:00

It’s only been about ten years since I got my fake i.d. at age 15, yet it feels like a lifetime. Don’t get my “vigorous” 25 twisted either. Spending 4 out of 7 days a week charged solely on last night’s erection of New York’s nightlife will age anyone beyond their years. This old fart is speaking for himself. I never thought the day would come where I’d echo the words of my parents, “I remember when I was your age…” That day is everyday. While most nostalgic hipsters (born PAST ’88) fawn over the ‘80s (dressed as painted Easter eggs in skinny jeans), I am at least in awe over a time when I truly lived the moment—the late ‘90s.

I would never front like I was getting it poppin’ in the historic Limelight, or Palladium back in the day, but I can clearly recount many of my Sunday nights partying in Speed and NV. Old men like me don’t brag, they tell stories. As for what I learned in high school, I draw blanks. And so should today’s restless youth, with as much party crashing as they do. Still, today’s poor excuse for a sinner’s paradise deserves a shot of adrenaline in the vein of yesteryear’s indulgence of nocturnal debauchery—sex, and drugs. Fortunately, kids stuck on the past can get the reality check they need from now on every Thursday when I deejay at NoCa, 323 West Broadway between Grand and Canal St.

RESIDENTIAL MC

2006-11-10T20:03:00.001-05:00

When lvnproof goes into it's random comatose state, I post random stuff outside of the usual nightlife shenanigans. Or in the case of a few months back, I gave real estate on the blog to my smelly T-shirt [3-Peat]. On the low it was a cry out for help, not only for a splash of detergent, but shame for still living at home. Shameful, of course, but I could always lower my quality of journalism by intruding into the lives of celebrities. That'll never happen, only because Egotastic does the only reportage of sex tape links and nipple slips I could (and would) do. See for yourself.

Again, I breakout the defibrillator and take another shot at myself about living at home, as did one of my favorite songs during the heyday of Rawkus records, "Still Live With My Mom" by the self-proclaimed Polo-Rican Thirstin Howl III and lyrical genius Master Fuol. A failure to launch from the nest hasn't been best narrated since then, and most rappers (broke ones) can attest. The 12" only release from 2000 was ahead of it's time, at least for me it was. The mind of Todd James aka REAS behind Comedy Central's Crank Yankers and Cartoon Network's Minoriteam, illustrated the video to my current theme song. Props to REAS' comic strip style, honorable mention to Rudy Ray Moore as Bad Ass Hollywood Brown and Hollywood's Original Entertainers (H.O.E.) in the intro. You see my vision right? Above all, they jacked the beat to that Destiny's Child record, "No, No, No" for the second verse. And the backpackers don't know shit about pop music...fuck off. Your man Wyclef "If I Was President" Jean was twisting the knobs behind that one. Sadda Paow! Well, until my modest salary lands me a crib, I'll just move in with my pops.

A RUBBER HALLOWEENIE

2006-11-02T17:06:00.000-05:00

Damn, what can I say about Halloween that hasn't been said already? Admit it, this year was no different from last year, and the year before that, et al. Albeit, there is no glass ceiling for children under thirteen (the true proprietors of Halloween), whom can’t see past 1-upping each other with the expensive costumes mom and pop spent their lunch break purchasing. But, the idea of being “over the top” just doesn’t exist for adults sixteen and over (my how they grow these days), ladies in particular. Anyway you slice it, every slutty cop from the year before, is, and by far will always be slutty. I’m not gonna touch (no homo) the dudes. Getting dressed for All Hallows is just as difficult as making a sneaker and T-shirt match. With that in mind, I made my choice of outfit as plain as the white T-shirts I wear—a blonde wig. I joined New York’s freakiest at Stereo on Tuesday night and saw all I needed to see, but sadly didn’t get to fully capture it thanks to Steve who (accidentally) broke my camera. I’m not that mad because I’m really not impressed by my likely finds. Well, I do wish I got a photo of the Cobrasnake getting pimp-slapped by some perp from the mosh pit. Oh well, trick or treat, you be the judge.

The Cobrasnake, before he was introduced to five fingers.

Photography by the Cobrasnake

Paige as, well, Paige for Halloween.

I missed the shot where this girl licked Tom's mask. Moments later, with the wreckage that is now my camera, I'd miss much more.

Until I get a new camera Steve, I hate you.

Weird.

You're cool.

What the fuck!?

Because this post is lacking in the usual cleavage, or ass shot, maybe my camera breaking is some kind of weird retribution for my exploitation of women.

MOON PIE

2006-11-02T13:08:00.000-05:00

This classic SNL skit with Tracy Morgan and Britney Spears reminds me of Cam'Ron's verse from "Get 'Em Girls." "Want to hit it from the back, she agreed that I'm looney / But proceeded to moon me (I'm getting money nigga)." This was probably also the first time Tracy Morgan broke Britney Spears' water (Zshare).

KNOW THE LEDGE—COLLEGE

2006-10-30T20:18:00.000-05:00

During my 4.5 years at SUNY College at Oneonta, I’ve walked away with great memories and even greater friends through the best and the worse of times. Then, as a disgruntled Mass Communications student by day, toiling on Ritalin and Adderall I couldn’t hate college any more, considering by night I was the life (DJ) of the party. Though they will be missed, they were never forgotten. Even when I tried to put the past behind me, I couldn’t help but return for one last hurrah. Sadly, today I feel more of a grimacing ‘ahh’ than I expected. And so I close the book on you Stoneonta.

The beautiful, serene view of Oneonta atop one of the many hills at the neighboring, Hartwick College.

The nightlife, where beautiful can turn ugly real quick.

If there's a will, there's always a way.

DJ D.R.A.M.A and DJ treats for one night and one night only???

Ballin'!

Fast life...fast girls?

Judging by the looks of these girls, they seem really young. And I am feeling a little wierd writing any more.

Sam, aka the African Bad Mon, aka the one dude I know that never really liked Biggie. And yes, real niggaz do real things.

Thanks, but no thanks.

"I never praid to God I praid to Gotti."
- Jay-Z

This was expected.

The last resort for a costume. If only us guys were so lucky. Until all hallows...

KING ME

2006-10-21T18:13:00.000-04:00

This is kinda old now, but I filmed and edited this video which is in a much better format on Complex.com. A another one for etnies is in the works, hence my trip to Cali (see "Turbulence").

TURBULENCE

2006-10-20T15:17:00.000-04:00

Business or pleasure? In this era of homeland security and patriot acts, it makes no difference how you fly. I’ve been sitting in JFK hell (also known as standby) since 9:45am, with no sight of hitting the friendly skies anytime soon. Sure, missing my 9:35 flight to Long Beach this morning, was where it all went wrong, but there’s no beauty in flying. After the annoying check-in clerk, intrusive screening process (chill not a cavity search), and misleading gates, I’ve already lost my urge to board the plane. And fuck your window seat nigga, pass me a drink so I can just sleep through the imminent turbulence. I’ll take New York’s pissy, pest-infested subways any day . Until my return.

3-PEAT

2006-09-09T22:57:00.000-04:00

This LeTigre shirt is more than meets the eye. Don’t let the size large tag fool you either. Technically, the polo tee is 3XL – three xtra long days worn, and still hasn’t seen the interior of a washing machine. As I have spent many restless days and nights burning the candle at both ends, this shirt has become my outfit by default. Trust me, do yourself a favor and don’t look so close, your nosehairs will thank you. For those that know me well, sure you're asking yourself, “why doesn’t he just find an apartment already?” Um, have you checked the market lately? OK so I haven’t either, but still, throw me a bone here (no homo). Any suggestions for a good deal under a grand will have me there faster than this shirt will get washed. Holla at me by commenting to this post with your real estate suggestions.

I've killed the tiger. What other casualties must suffer at the hands of my neglect.

OK this is really bad. I apologize to my co-workers that had to put up with this.

KING OF NEW YORK

2006-08-28T22:42:00.000-04:00

Lazy Sundays are the best. But lazy Saturdays, make me truly live for the weekend, especially last week where I spent it relaxing in Brooklyn, unwinding and enjoying being apathetic. But then a voice called unto me and asked me "what you know about that?" I knew I wasn't listening to T.I. because I was listening out for the part where he says, "you better use your Nikes bruh." Nullus. I later took a trip outside and the church across the street was putting on a street fair that had food, fun, politics and the aforementioned self-empowering phrase as the headlining theme. Al Sharpton made his obligatory appearance. But welcomed nonetheless. The former mayoral-presidential candidate came through to support Hakeem Jeffries, a Democratic potential for State Assembly and put smiles on people's faces who in this age of a "quality" presidential administration, don't really know much about anything. At least we have our local leaders to keep hope alive.

UNPLUGGED

2006-08-28T03:52:00.000-04:00

The past couple of weeks have been pretty rough on me, especially on the blog. The restless nights of summer, leading up to my trip to Martha's Vineyard, to even more restless nights have left me in the worse state of displacement ever. In my quest to document my daily travels and experiences for you all (and the black youth), I have lost the Achilles heel to my digital camera - my USB cord.

After two trips to Best Buy, in search of said adaptor, I've been fiendishly hounding my co-workers for the use of theirs or anything to get my photos to the next stop - auxiliary memory card devices. My desperation is disgusting. Chill, not that disgusting. So I've finally decided that today will be the day clean up my act with the purchase of a new USB cord (and a new attitude). However I fear this will change after this post, a drunken night's rest, along with the amount of money in my wallet. Anybody wanna donate to the United Negro Livin' Proof Fund?

NATURAL SELECTION

2006-08-25T04:23:00.000-04:00

The year was 1994. The Notorious B.I.G changed the face of rap music with his debut album Ready to Die, the untimely death of Nirvana's lead singer, Kurt Cobain left us all numb, Brazil shook up the world cup defeating Italy 3-2, and a little movie called The Inkwell defined why we love summer. A good year at that. Over a decade later, this classic film still rings bells in my memory like school after 3 o'clock. Amidst the quaint atmosphere of the island of Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts, this destination site for families and rich yuppies, told the story of teenage love, rejection, innocence, guilt, fun and tragedy through the eyes of a young Larenz Tate. Sure we all can identify with Tate's fawning over then-stunning girl-next door Jada Pinket-Smith (long before Big Willie was a glimmer in her eye), or his uncomfort being a fish out of water in his parents' vacationing playground. But fate would rear it’s ugly head giving light to the unexpected. Isn’t that what summer is all about?

Before I decided to pack away my polo shirts and plaid shorts for the fall season, I took a trip to Martha’s Vineyard last week. I can't say my experience was that similar to Tate's in The Inkwell, but it was an unforgettable time camping in the great outdoors, minus girl-next door types and nude beaches (see the movie). Since I was too cheap to shell out $300 bucks and change on a lavish villa or hotel room, a tent was the next best choice. Though this last resort was comfortable on the pockets, it wasn't so comfy on my still aching neck and back. Hey Tom, accidentally letting the air out of my Aerobed was funny for like a milli-second until I sunk to the cold, unleveled campground. The following night left me just as restless, with skunks periodically raiding our tent for scraps of food. Next time, I'll remember to pack airtight Tupperware and an air gun to keep the pests out, Steve included. Martha's Vineyard, nice place to visit.

Too early for anything, much less a weekend getaway.

Hunger was imminent. The only stop on the way that didn't involve gas, petrol to be exact. Smell me?

To the unexperienced traveller or spring breaker, Woods Hole has no sexual connotations to it. Try Cancun for that.

Passing the time. Unfortunately, this would be the last that we'd see of the soccer ball. We carelessly left it at a bus stop when we got to MV.

For the first and only time, I missed the Staten Island ferry for it's boarding ease. This ferry to MV was just a headache.

Or just go home and forget about the whole thing.

This not-so-great dane is probably the most scary looking dog I've ever seen in my life.

Are scary dogs the new trend?

I didn't have the luxury of conveneince.

Home to lush forests, evangelical cults, and skunks.

Pitching a tent, a simple task, about 20 minutes after the first try.

30 minutes after the first try.

Toasting to the first MV sunset was a must.

In memory...

A couple of beers in, I bet Steve $10 that I can hurl a rock from the lighthouse into the water. Then I bet again, double or nothing, and lost. By the way, I wasn't even close to hitting the water.

Sign of addiction - memory loss. Where are the cups?

Let it flap in the wind.

I only wish this is where we went. But then it could have been a wasteland of sagginess and saddlebags.

Architects of tomorrow practice here.

Birds of a feather...you know the rest.

The best rest I got during the entire trip.

HEART OF DARKNESS

2006-08-17T10:32:00.000-04:00

In recent movie news, there have been some pretty huge developments with the new Batman movie. Yesterday, Warner Bros. announced The Dark Knight will be first in the series not to have “Batman” in it’s title. They've really stripped the corniness from Joel Schumacher's fuck-ups. On top of the title's nod to the original Frank Miller comic (seen above), expect Brokeback's Heath Ledger to reprise the role of the Joker, originally played by Jack Nicholson. Sure, this casting took me by surprise but so did Christian Bale when he first donned the bat suit. Trust, Nolan knows what's up.

Shortly after hearing the great news on The Dark Knight, Tom sent me an excerpt from an old interview Batman Begins screenwriter David S. Goyer did for Premiere magazine after the movie dropped last year. "The next one would have Batman (Christian Bale) enlisting the aid of James Gordon (Gary Oldman) and Harvey Dent in bringing down the Joker (Heath Ledger)...but not killing him. In the third movie, the Joker would go on trial, scarring Dent in the process." Amazing if this was the actual film’s plot, but only time will tell for the 2008 summer blockbuster. Other stray rumors I read had Philip Seymour Hoffman playing the Penguin and Ryan Phillipe or Clive Owen as Two Face. Crazy reprisals and an even darker storyline could very well send Spidey 3 web-slinging for the hills.

As an avid fan of the comic and the early '90s cartoon on FOX, the episode "The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne" actually had the sinister trio of Joker, Penguin and Two Face in a heated bidding war for a videotape that revealed the identity of the caped crusader. Remember, Nolan appeased die-hard fans when he made Ra's Al Ghul and the Scarecrow the villains in Begins. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for an even more formidable trio to give Spiderman 3 some comp.

SIGHTSEEING

2006-08-17T00:59:00.000-04:00

For those of you who haven't had the opportunity to travel much, just go away to college for four years (or more). You're sure to see it all there. Fuck breaking the bank on vacating into the unknown for a glimpse at historical architecture or beautiful landscapes. Your time would be best spent raging at frat parties, indulging in the unlimited supply of drugs and alcohol and oh yeah, the bounty of women. Plus, having these luxuries at your fingertips comes with no added value, as opposed to let's say, a hotel concierge service. I have lived the life. Now two years later, things done changed - the real world ain't as sweet. At least last week, I had the privilege of revisiting the good old days when I went to my college buddy's housewarming party in Philly. Granted, we both went to different schools, but the scene is pretty consistent: beer pong, pretentious girls, and plenty of indecent exposure (on the part of girls of course). It would be extremely boring for me to post photos of me and Tom killing the competition in back-to-back games of beer pong, so I just decided to post this great money shot - girls on film. Enjoy the scenery.

*I apologize for the shitty positioning of the camera. I enjoyed being a spectator and left the filming to Tom.

Would Paris Hilton's famous word "firecrotch" be appropriate?

Hearing Paige recite southern rap lyrics in her Alabama twang is cute. It'd be great if she knew the words to "Still Tippin'".

Good thing Paige doesn't do ladies. Or else she would have become fodder for the evening.

Like this...

Or this.

By the way, just for the record, see my shirt? It says S-T-A. The streetwear brand Saint Alfred ripped off the YSL logo. Pretty cool, I think. But that firecrotch from earlier asked me, "Is that an Yves Saint Laurent shirt?" Reading obviously wasn't one of her strengths.

LIFE AFTER DEATH

2006-08-15T00:09:00.000-04:00

I’ll be the first to admit: the death of Citizen Paparazzi was inevitable. The tag line alone foreshadowed its demise - “Welcome to your fifteen minutes.” Times up! Actually, the name was just a working title. After it stuck after about 150 views, I realized I should go with a title that was more fitting for the blog’s aesthetic – story telling.

In some of my most recent posts, I’ve recapped the unbelievable events of my day-to-day life. Many are strange, but true. Some of the photos are even stranger. But I let you be the judge of that. And so I introduce to you launch of Livin’ Proof. Here to teach the truth, to the young black youth…and then some.

CRAZYKIT

2006-08-14T03:47:00.000-04:00

Before tonight's usual wildness at Sway, it's been almost impossible for me to catch up with Paul aka Senor Moz. I found out this week that when he's not trotting the globe or slaving at Penguin books, he's been hanging with the fam-a-lambs - Charles (Supreme) and Sacha, as seen on Charles' cool blog Crazykit. Check it out. Paul gets into a gangsta situation a la Karl Lagerfield.

MAKE IT REIGN

2006-08-13T17:49:00.000-04:00

Whenever something goes wrong, hip-hop takes the blame. Someone’s been shot, stabbed, or even skeeted on, point the finger at rap music. It's high time people recognize the real scapegoat - alcohol. Kids slinging crack rock? Don’t blame 50 Cent. Women being sprayed with liquids in the club? Not R. Kelly’s fault. Well, depending on the liquid, then Kells might be your guy. Yet I digress. This week, I was clearly two sheets from the wind (drunk) when I poured my drink on a girl. My ludacris behavior had nothing to do with wanting to relive every rap video I’ve ever seen, but if I wanted to, I could run down a list of my favorite videos that could have incited my actions. Relax, Nelly’s “Tip Drill” isn’t one of them.

It all started with accidentally bumping into a girl, who plunked down what seemed like over $300 worth of bottle service. At this point I was standing in her reserved booth, when she asked me “do you belong here”? I replied, “no.” But after feeling disrespected by her choice of words and her attempt to get me kicked out of the club, we began to exchange harsh words which led to an exchange of drinks (my first of two and her one and only).

I soon made my way downstairs and headed towards the exit, but I wasn’t done yet. After her beverage marinated on my shirt and mine on her dress, my friends got a head start towards the exit while I went back upstairs for a second round of drinks. This time, I didn’t stop to speak my mind, rather to make her a victim of a drive-by dousing (on the rocks). My job was done, and so I casually walked out of the club. I don’t quite remember what song I exited to, but I’m sure it’s music video has some misogynist imagery in it.

UNEMBARGOED

2006-08-08T21:31:00.000-04:00

Rick Ross dropped his debut album, Port of Miami today. I just thought I post this old video footage from his NYC performance on YouTube to drive some traffic to the blog. Can I get my hustle on?

CRUISE CONTROL

2006-08-08T20:00:00.000-04:00

The last time I felt like I was living a Tom Cruise movie, I woke up the next day with a regrettable hangover and a true story that would put Charlie Murphy to shame. To this day, I’m still mulling over these strange parallels many would call, real talk. As my last Tom Cruise-esque experience was reminicent of a scene out of Eyes Wide Shut, last week’s episode was a throwback to the even more warped Vanilla Sky.

As a writer, deejay, and conflicted hipster, I never thought the many hats I wear, would morph me into the troubled character who snowboarded through life – David Aames. I’ve never snowboarded, but that night I rocked a fedora (similar to the one he wore in the car scene with Jason Lee). Hence, my swagger jacking was at a ten, even when I rolled up to the midtown bar/restaurant Pig ‘N' Whistle, which just so happened to be playing Radiohead’s “Everything In It’s Right Place.” Can you think of a better opening scene?

Hours later, I stumbled onto man’s forgotten mode of transportation, the Staten Island ferry where I hoped I would have an uninterrupted thirty-minute slumber. If I were only so lucky. Towards the end of my Hudson River voyage, I slightly opened my eyes from underneath my tilted hat to glance at an unexpected individual sitting a little over fifteen-feet to my right. For the past few weeks, I have been distant in my communication with said individual. So naturally, I exited left. Bad move. This individual would question me later through a series of text messages, “why was I hiding?” I could only play dumb through my response and blame it on my poor vision. To this day, she is the lonliest girl to ever hold a martini.

DOG DAYS

2006-07-31T02:00:00.000-04:00

Ugh, this weekend was a scorcher. With the temperature creeping up to 100 degrees, all I could think about was my icy beverage within arm's reach and the half-naked women strutting their stuff around the city, completely out of my reach. At this point I'll refrain from sharing any further information regarding dousing of any cold liquids to get my mind off the effects of Al Gore's claim to fame - global warming. But while some people think of cool places to mentally transplant themselves from summer’s uncomfortable weather, I did the opposite by reminiscing over the haze I was in at the Spin magazine party at this past Project NY trade show. Before this weekend, the Spin party was the last time I felt like I was close to a heat stroke. Hence laziness, incoherency and the late post. Regardless, enjoy these tall glasses of water.

I actually didn't take any of these photos. Steve came through earlier and snapped photos while I wandered around Chelsea in search of the party. By the way, ignore the bare-chested dudes in the back. No homo.

"Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye."

- Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers

That pink Sidekick II is pretty cool.

This was around when I finally go to the event. Not much going on at this point, but the sight of these ladies alone will make the fish stop swimming in my house anyday.

TALESPIN

2006-07-29T12:09:00.000-04:00

As far back as I can remember, as a kid growing up in Brooklyn, I was a huge New York Mets fan. Probably because I was born into a family of die-hard Mets fans, I had no choice but to root for the home team. Plus, hopes of returning to the World Series after '86 pennant hadn't become the pipe dream it is today - twenty years later. But according to the team’s mantra, we still "believe."

Soon after my love for America's favorite pastime faded, my interests ventured into the Bermuda triangle also known as the opposite sex, where I thought I would never return to baseball. I stand corrected with my first game at Shea stadium last week. OK I’ll admit I didn’t go because the Mets have the best record in the NL East. I got a good deal on a ticket, which also included entrance into the 4th Annual Tailgate classic (food, beer and good times included).

Despite the rain delay, we still got belligerently drunk and squeezed in some whiffleball. My inner-child came out to play even though I was more focused on parking lot pimping. Hey, ladies.

At this point, taking shelter was pointless.

Hey, alcohol dries out your cells, so we've got that part down.

A wet T-shirt contest wasn't in the itenerary, but we're game for anything at this point.

After a while, doing the frat-boy thing gets real messy. It all started with the rain, followed by soppy hamburger buns, then this bottle of 1800 was passed around. I'm fucked...

I almost forgot what we came here to do. Let's get focused for the fifth inning.

The seventh inning was a shocker.

Mets win 4-3 over the Astros.

LUNCH WITH LADY MARMALADE

2006-07-20T13:35:00.000-04:00

I know what you're probably thinking. I never know how to draw the line between professionalism and personal interest. Think again. My meet and greet yesterday with Mya was just to rap about her new album, Liberation dropping this fall. I'm assuming the title of the album has to do also with being single. So am I, but I didn't tell her that.

COLORS

2006-07-20T01:54:00.000-04:00

Give me a month’s grace period to completely get the World Cup out of my system and I’ll surely leave my futbol addiction for the 2010 games. In the meantime, to feed my competitive spirit, last Sunday at Colombus Park, Citizen Paparazzi challenged our friend Lauren and group of her friends to a battle of brains versus brawn in our first Color War. Don’t let Team Minnetonka aka Citizen Paparazzi’s pink shirts from Uni-Qlo get our image twisted. The real pussies were on Lauren’s side when they decided to punk out of the tater-tot eating competition. Hey, even after creaming the opposition the thought of laughing at them while they hurled Pathmark-branded fried potatoes would have tickled us pink (no pun intended). Instead, our hunger made us the spectacle.

The captains pretend to be sportsman-like with an opening handshake. Let the games begin.

Team Minnetonka had their game face on. But the real question was, which great white hope would Tom channel? Larry Bird or Wally Szczerbiak? Regardless, we won.

Any reference to enjoying women playing basketball would only result in sounding like a sexist meathead. I'll just keep my thoughts to myself.

Whose lungs are darker? This competition will go into overtime...sudden death maybe???

Most of Team Minnetonka drew blanks for the crossword puzzle heat. This loss was a giveaway.

Steve looked to Zidane as inspiration for this unsportman-like forearm.

Bump, set, spike...um, bikinis? Next year we play vollyball right and take it to the beach. What's really good?

All day I dream about sports. At least that's how the saying goes, but I beg to differ.

Rock, paper, scissors - a hand game challenge between two individuals where their choices are an open palm, a fist, or two fingers. Wait, this is supposed to be a kids game?

The hunger for more. Until next year.

BASTILLE DAY (A WEEK LATER)

2006-07-19T18:47:00.000-04:00

I am not french, nor do I speak it. But Bastille day had me feeling a little festive. By the way if you can't read the note, it says:

"Before I became the experienced young man that stands here today, I once thought the so-called "dreadful" taboo french kiss meant kissing the member of a female. Maybe the use of the tongue got lost in translation, but I am glad nontheless that I am a cunning linguist.

- treats

The spread was nice and light.

Perfect for saving room for the white sangria. Yep, those are peaches. I ate most of them.

After viewing all of these photos, I realized that they're all dark. Keeping with the french theme, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess this was my subconscious attempt at noir. Or not...

Damn, I wish it were darker.

Apparently this is a favorite past time of sorority girls. The tradition carried on.

Oh, je t'aime.

MISADVENTURES

2006-07-16T00:05:00.000-04:00

Last July 5th, I got lucky when I landed a gig working at Complex magzine. I never thought that six months of working for free would matriculate into full-time employment. I was wrong, hard work actually pays off. Too bad, my much-needed R&R didn’t. Last week marked my full year at Complex, so I celebrated with a vacation to California. I figured some rest in the west would come with all of Cali's splendor – good weather, women, and weed. OK everything else but the weed. OK maybe not the women either. Fuck…I guess the only person that really benefited from my trip was my dad. Um, thanks pop for the father-son time, but the days of amusement parks and the beach just can’t cut it for this 24-year-old. These days, stimulation comes in a 34-B cup and an extra small sized thong (preferably pink). But I came up empty handed. Thank you California, for the change of scenery, fireworks (non-bedroom) and the worse case of blue balls, ever. Next time I even think of going on a wild –uss chase, I’ll visit one of New York’s finer establishments for gentlemen and put my money towards funding a young lady’s college education. Now that's satisfaction.

I flew JetBlue. A simple and easy flight. The Long Beach Airport is amazing. 1-2-3 check-in, 1-2-3 baggage claim. Coming and going was the easiest part of my trip. The rest wasn't all down-hill.

New York's got Nike Dunks, Cali's got Vans. But this is a supermarket. I just thought it was a cool name for a supermarket, plus I was hungry. What else is new?

Since I had so much down-time, and I got bored with my PSP, I went to a nearby video game arcade. Apparently the Source magazine has sold it's share of bling-bling from it's back pages to the bling-king. What has the world come to?

Treats, 0 for ??? Again, what's the world come to?

Hollywood Blvd. is full of crazy people, places, and things. Now I'm not saying all Scientologists are crazy, but at least on the famed strip, I understand.

Apparently, anti-immigration protests are as regular as mild-earthquakes.

Right now, there's a rap concert going on somewhere that is probably missing some police presence. Either way, five-0 will see more action here.

Well, after the seven dwarves, it's high time Snow White settle down. But Homer, you can't make a hoe into a housewife.

The day of the World Cup final, Nike showed the game at their gallery space in LA. I had no idea how heads got tickets to watch the game, but not even my business card gained me admittance. It's clearly time to go back home to NYC.

If I was "that dude," I could have made up for an uneventful trip by joining the mile-high club with the honey dip seated in the white hoody. She sat next to me, and that's the end of the story.

FOUR YEAR PLAN

2006-07-09T17:48:00.000-04:00

So what France took an "L" today in the World Cup, but who said heads are hanging in shame? This is just the beginning of the next four years; World Cup fever is spreading. I caught the World Cup bug in 2006 and in 2010, I'll have a lager in one hand and a long-haired, bronze-skinned Brasilena in the other. La dolce vida, ya tu sabe. This year I was ridin' with France in the Final, but I'm gonna get an early start and join Brazil's overcrowded bandwagon, along with the futbol neo-phytes and hipsters that helped boost World Cup broadcast ratings this year.

BEST WEEK EVER

2006-07-08T05:27:00.000-04:00

VH1's Best Week Ever is choc-full of celebrity gossip and fodder for the feeble minded. They would surely eat this one up. OK I apologize; I too am guilty of being a little star struck from time to time. Even I have a soft spot for female rappers. Moving right along, I've been on a healthy binge of good food and weather out in Cali for the past week and in my boredom, I actually started searching for celebrities on the last leg of my trip.

Who better to earn a double take, none other than the king of Ribs and BBQ, I mean r&b - Bobby Brown. Before I move forward I'd like to apologize for not getting a proper photo of "the man," I was too shocked to think that I was probably in the middle of a taping of Being Bobby Brown. Anyway, I had dinner at the Hyatt Resort with my dad and on our way out, we made a pit stop at the restroom. Now, my pops walks in, and I fall back thinking I didn't really need to go. Then a dude walks out of the bathroom who looks like he could be the janitor, but damn, even janitors look a little spiffy at the Hyatt. Your man is rocking a dingy black button-down shirt, some jeans and probably just stepped off a plane from taping a soon-to-be-unaired episode of MTV's The Shop. When I decide to actually go into the bathroom to use it, the king of r&b turns around, verrrrrry disillusioned, with a loosie (cigarette) in hand, and asks, "Where's the lobby?" I reply (pointing in the direction), "It's that way." Then he thanks me and I go, "Alright boss." And he gives me the "yeah I know you know who I am my dude" look, with his signature curled lip to the side. Damn, cocaine is a helluva drug. That's just where that particular incident ended, but wait, there's more.

When I go into the bathroom, my dad acknowledges the Bobby Brown sighting and tells me that Brown told him, that the only reason he came into the bathroom was to bust off a fart. Bobby thought it would have been too rude to let it go in the lobby. For once, I can say I feel what it's like to be Bobby Brown, or much less smell what it's like to be Bobby Brown.

CITIZEN PAPARAZZI VS. KILLER CAMEL

2006-06-21T19:26:00.000-04:00

This self-contained blog has kept its doors closed to new faces for too long. Though some strangers (i.e. weirdoes, hobos, and whores) have popped up here and there, for the most part, we've been on our own shit. So I figured like everything else I do when I'm sober, I'd keep it uncomfortably formal for the introduction of my friend Yasi by asking her some questions. After meeting Yasi through a mutual friend, we've seen quite a bit: a free skin show at a Cash Money Records listening session (awesome), dodging rush hour traffic on our bikes with no brakes (adrenaline rush), and Sway (awe-inspiring). FYI this week holds a double-dose of Sway with Moz on Sunday and Yasi's going away shindig next Monday. Come out and say goodbye before she moves back to killer Cali, and check out her blog in our links. We do have friends outside of Citizen Paparazzi you know.

name: Yasi

age: Old enough to know better.

location: Transient.

daily grind: Starbucks iced soy latte.

occupational hazard: There's no crying in baseball.

favorite hangout: My couch.

as a killer camel, does that mean you have a camel toe? You're a sicko treats.

what does the lower east side need more of? Cowbell.

what does the lower east side need less of? Me.

what flavor jelly belly would you be? Pear.

who do you take the most pictures of? Myself in the mirror with dark eyeliner and a pouty face.

since everybody loves the 80s, what will it be like in 2080? Like the movie Rad but the bikes will fly.

does anyone in team awesome surf? Totally.

why do middle eastern girls rule? Because we have nuclear weapons in our purses.

favorite madonna song: "Love Song" feat. Prince

summer in ny or summer in la? Yes.

what's fucked up about women's fashion? "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." - Oscar Wilde

what will hipsters "be over" in the next hour? Accessorized.

PLAYER-SPECTATORS

2006-06-21T03:45:00.000-04:00

I always thought that New York's interest in international relations was limited to fashion. I stand corrected, sort of. Last Saturday, New York's downtown hipster scene immersed itself in something more foreign than something limited edition from Japan - soccer. In its fifth year, adidas gathered a bunch of corporate teams, some of the coolest brands and media companies to go head-to-head in the all-day Fanatic tournament. This year it was Complex's turn to get in on the action. Unfortunately, us fans (not fanatics), were too busy staying on top of the magazine game, and let our performance on the field fluster in favor of designing our orange tic-tac, Complex branded uniforms. I think the fans that came out to indulge in the free food and Sapporo would have voted us best dressed, but I’m no fashionista, nor football player. To maintain the anonymity of my co-workers I decided not to post close-up, action shots of us getting our asses kicked (four games except for one killer tie game), and just show highlights of us defending our goal, at least for 36 seconds. Enjoy while I go lick my wounds from the hurtful loss.

Kick, push? I think not.

Maybe this sign would have worked if it was in Japanese.

Natalie, don't you think it's a little early to celebrate your dog's first birthday?

Two things I hate: feet and an empty bottle of beer.

4-LETTER WORD

2006-06-19T02:04:00.000-04:00

For the past couple of weeks, Steve and I have been throwing invites and friend requests to girls via Myspace for our Madge Night party. But they'll have to sit on ice a bit longer because we're pushing back the date and changing the venue in favor of the more debaucherous Love, on MacDougal and 8th St. We believe in a little place called Love and so should you. It falls right in line with the intimacy, and sexual deviance with plush carpets in it's tiny hamster-maze lounge, and vibrating sound system (no, ladies, that's not my cell phone you're feeling either).

When in Rome...

There's no dress code at Love. Last week, a bunch of dickheads, I mean coneheads gathered for a one-off party.

We can only hope that pills and pussy will run amuck in July. Stay tuned.

PASSION OF THE POLE

2006-06-18T14:29:00.000-04:00

Luckily, I posted my reciept from Scores or you'd think there was something wrong with me for taking a picture of a man straddling the brass.

The leaning tower of p***y. Not Kenyon's though.

Paige, the rest of your face is one quarter away from a ski-mask...or paper bag if you were so "worthy." I love you.

A AND B CONVERSATION

2006-06-15T02:33:00.000-04:00

Dear Steve,
After you made a superhuman comeback in a friendly game of Scrabble, I realized that you are not human. Simply put, an alien. Yeah I took the first game, but that was just part of your ploy to get my confidence up and then completely demolish me. I can't front, I was gassed after my 50-point word, "countess" gave me a double-D cup size padded lead. Then little by little, you clawed your way back into striking distance and wrestled sweet victory away from my kung-fu grip. I'm still recovering from the loss as I lament. You may not be green, but you're a little Filipino/Dutch man (no homo) without a job. For all we know, you beam up to your ship when you're alone and study the planet by hovering over us with your "sister's laptop." Didn't anyone see ID4? MIB? MIB 2? Steve has just way too much disposable knowledge and it's starting to scare me. Try playing him in Scrabble, and converse over random trivia, politics, economics, physics, media, socialism, and um, pussy. Lend an ear, because you're lucky if you get a word in, much less a 50-point one.

PAID IN FULL

2006-06-13T00:15:00.000-04:00

Women can be so deceptive. I normally complain about being mislead by the opposite sex, but not this time. When I went to Scores a couple of nights ago, I wasn’t expecting for the receipt to say “Dining and Catering Services” and not the iconic strip club’s nomenclature. But this special “store credit” receipt is the only proof that I had some titties in my face…oh the nostalgia. But for dudes hiding their late night movements from wifey, the misleading receipt works. Of course being at a strip club at 11PM on a Wednesday night seems sketchy. And no, I wasn’t clad in a trench coat, and sunglasses. My original intention was to head over to Stereo, but my arrival was premature beyond having the soldiers on the field too early (if you get my drift). I figured my old college buddy (who we’ll just call Mr. X for arguments sake) take advantage of the more available entertainment within arm’s reach. Yet I digress, no homo. I wasn’t expecting more flesh than the Greekfest. It’s funny how I thought I could stroll into the strip club and just pay the entrance fee, have a drink and leave. Nothing prepared me for the detour I’d experience as I went for two rounds (separate lapdances) from the same girl. Can I get my T-Pain on?

Raging in the Rain

2006-06-09T20:55:00.000-04:00

Please find a home for this umbrella, and this crazy man.

Sin City Revisited: A Hero's Tale

2006-06-03T17:30:00.000-04:00

Please scroll down slowly...

Our tale begins with our dapper young protagonist, Drew and his quest to spread his seed far an wide in the city of sin:

After the first night of wining and dining the ladies South Jersey Style (aka Grits and Schlitz), this was the only box our hero managed to sleep with:

Coming to grips with the grim reality that his game was less than sub-par, our hero decides to slip a little something-something into his victim's gin and tonic:

Unfortunately for our hero, his dashing partner in crime unknowingly consumed the afformentioned beverage believing it to be his own.

Although seriously considering to take advantage of his fallen comerade, our hero comes to his senses and hits up the blackjack table, deciding to call it a night.

After two restless nights of unsuccessful politicking, our hero finally resorts to desperate measures on this third and final evening on the town:

"Freeze, bitch! And show me yo titty!"

Surprisingly, his guerilla tactics managed to scare up a modest amount of action!

Granted this fine female specimen was not really much of a talker, she was kind enough (or scared enough) to save the last dance for our young hero. Unfortunately for him, the young lady refused to acknowledge his desperate pleas to woo her somewhere seedy and private.

Consumed by grief and mental anguish, our emotionally destroyed hero decides to take his own life:

Luckily, his stylish white spandex bike-shorts served as a floatation device, preventing our war-torn hero from staying submerged for long enough to drown.

Coming to his senses, our hero decides that there must be more to life than just fornicating trashy spanish chicks from UTEP. Heading home to the Dirty Jerz, our hero walks with a high head and a moderately soiled conscience. Piecing together his weekend of sin in the city of the same name, our hero decides to pull out his trusty camera-phone and revisit his less-than-fulfilling week of self-gratification. After careful examination of the photos from said camera-phone, our hero looks up with a gleam in his eye as he realizes that he did at least sort-of make it to second base on a technicality:

Victory!

Revisiting Skeez's Party

2006-05-31T23:14:00.000-04:00

Are we only allowed to make fun of strangers on this website? If you feel that way you need not continue reading. This is how I recall Tom's bonne fête...

____________________________________________________________________________________

Brian: This is how you should act to be considered "cool' in your circle of friends.
Frat Dude: OK, beer.Voice of Reason: OR you could be like George in that episode of Seinfeld & do the EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE

____________________________________________________________________________________

The Virus Lurkes

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"You just triggered the prick who just mixed liquor/Who's itchin to leave you disfigured and stiffer than Chris-topher, Reeves" - Slim Shady

*If you are a chick and can name that song I will marry you or have sex with you more than once.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Paul's Posh
My mid-nineties chinstrap is outdated. It will never experience the fashion longevity or convey maturity in the eloquently underestimated way your Male Pattern Baldness does. Kantor's got the minoxidil hook-up yo. He says try CVS for the ill discount.

____________________________________________________________________________________

iamdjtreats
iambeerpongchampion

____________________________________________________________________________________

Eat Bush
Or get it out of your face.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Friends being Friends
BFF EVER

______________________________________________________________________________

Camera= Futuristic
LightSource = Neolithic

iamdjtreats iamthemissinglink

____________________________________________________________________________________

You will feel uncomfortable in
5

4

3

2

1

*Libel Disclaimer*
Despite the evident appearance of blatant homosexuality. I assure Mr. Weiss was merely scaring Mr. Treats while he was slumbering.

___________________________________________________________________________________

SAW: See this (gesturing to the obvious inebriation and time on the clock) is why we should make out eventhough we've been platonic since our intial parlay of syllables.
Paige: Hehe.

____________________________________________________________________________________

iamdjtreats

iamplayinghalo2bymyself

iamnolongercool

____________________________________________________________________________________

fin again

At Last I Am Born

2006-05-26T17:49:00.000-04:00

If you've read The Tipping Point , you understand how social epidemics become the norm in pop culture. Out of our circle of friends, we give Steve credit for introducing us to each other, but Paul gets honorable mention for connecting more and more people to Morrissey. I'm the most recent convert to the seminal '80s britpop band, but have yet to build an extensive surplus of random Moz trivia, but I've come a long way. Two months later, I had Morrissey's birthday circled on my calendar. Here's to you ol' Suedehead.

I don't know of any other party where the dudes show-up the girls on the dancefloor...oh, nevermind, I know one, a gay party.

Treats isn't homophobic, just waiting on his song.

Paige loves Moz too, but don't tell her, she keeps us Sway regulars (dudes) from looking gay.

Though the testosterone level is normally high, this past Sunday, the estrogen was everywhere. We had the best seat in the house to get it all first hand.

We had nothing to do with this.

Again, we were just spectators.

The dude rocking this Madonna jacket was clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time. Madge night is Thursday June 29th at MI-5 (52 Walker St. - Tribeca).

Five Fingers of Death

2006-05-24T18:49:00.000-04:00

Today a company came to the Complex offices to consult us on how we can continue to build Complex.comwith more user interactive content. We went off on a tangent deferring to an example that worked for Hot 97, but only left them with controversy, as usual.